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Mu LaoShi’s Dumplings

Print Recipe
Course Appetizer, Main Course, Side Dish, Snack
Keyword The F*ck You Buffet
Servings 50 people
Author strawbebehmod

Ingredients

Dough

  • 1-ish bag flour eventually
  • water basically judge by consistency of dough

Inside of Dumplings

  • lbs land meat of your choice chicken, pork, beef, etc.
  • 1 lb Chinese chives or cabbage
  • cup corresponding broth of your meat
  • cup rice wine
  • 3 tbsp sesame oil
  • ½ cup vegetable oil
  • 3 tbsp soy sauce
  • Pinch preferred hot spice white/black/chili pepper, optional

Instructions

Insides

  • Mix dumpling insides all together in a bowl. Make sure to chop the vegetables finely (nothing longer than half your pinky tip should be mixed in).
  • Stir the mixture for a good 15 minutes so you can’t pick anything out but the vegetables.

Dough

  • Put your flour in a bowl and get some metal chopsticks for stirring. Add water slowly while stirring and regularly stop adding water to check dough for consistency. You want something with the consistency of play dough. If you added in too much water just add more flour.
  • Knead the dough and add in flour until the outside and inside of the dough is moist but not wet or really sticky. Continue kneading for a little bit after that to make sure it’s all one giant blob.
  • Put the dough in a new bowl and either wrap it in plastic wrap and put it away in the fridge if you are preparing this a day ahead. If not, you can still move the dough to another bowl but do not washout the mixing, bowl you will inevitably need to make more dough as again this makes enough dumplings to serve a party of 50.

Filling the Dumplings

  • Spread out some wax paper all over your table and get extra surfaces ready with wax paper to line your dumplings on. Spread some flour out on the wax paper so that the dough and dumplings do not stick to it.
  • Rip off a chunk of the dough, roll it into a cylinder that is about a quarter size around (for those outside the US, the size of a large coin) rip off an inch sized amount and press down on it with your palm.
  • Next take a small rolling pin and flatten the edges of the dough, but ONLY the edges. You want a dense spot in the center so the bottom doesn’t rip open when you pick it up. Once they are about ¾ the size of your hand they are done and ready to fill.
  • Take a pair of chopsticks and use them to grab a pinch of the meat mixture. Yes, you have to use chopsticks. It’s the only thing that provides the right amount for the dumplings without over stuffing them consistently. Place the pinch in the center of the dumpling wrapper circle. If you think it’s too small of an amount you can grab a little more but be warned to never add more than two pinches worth from chopsticks. You will never be able to close the dumpling otherwise.
  • With the meat in the center take two parallel side flaps and pull them up together to look like a taco.
  • Pinch them together firmly so that the dough fuses together. Do this all down the sides of the dumpling in such a way it looks like a draw string bag that’s pulled tightly shut. If meat is leaking out you cannot leave it that way. I warned you about adding too much now look what you’ve done. You have to squeeze out the excess and get it to work somehow now cause the outside of the wrapper is too oily to just add more dough onto. Watch that dumpling to make sure it doesn’t come undone later.
  • Repeat this whole process until your hands are caked with flour and you are too tired to make any more. I warned you that you have to clear out a whole day for this. Trust me it will be worth it. Have a good cry if you need to. Then teach someone else to do it and force them to take over.

Cooking the Dumplings

  • Now you can either freeze them for later or cook them.
  • Cooking them is the easiest part. Just get a pot boiling. Add some salt to the water if you feel like it but it’s not required. Put the dumplings in one at a time (once they are thawed if you froze them) and stir them gently so they don’t stick to the bottom. Once they float to the top and/or turn slightly translucent, scoop them out as they are done. I recommend eating them quickly ‘cause they are best served fresh. Pick any dip you want for them, wouldn’t recommend eating more than five at a time though ‘cause they are filling.
  • You can also fry them till they are brown or just stir fry the meat and serve with rice.

Notes

Not a family recipe or posting out of spite (my Chinese teacher would actually very much like that I share this) but how to make Chinese for dumplings that will last you months of you have a freezer. Please clear out a day for this unless you have help. It takes a long time but makes so much it is worth it.
Enjoy your dumplings that will weather you through an apocalypse and know that Mu LaoShi would think you are all wonderful and would congratulate you on your hard work to prepare this dish.